school days. school days.

I had to drop the class I'm taking this session... which was surprisingly hard. Not the process; that was extremely easy. It was more of an emotional difficulty. I have this huge gap in my day now where school once was. As a 21 year old college student, most of every day is spent doing school. I wake up go to class, go to class, go to class, go to crew, grab a quick something, and then settle in to do homework the rest of the night. I hang out with other college students. I live less than a block from campus. I am a college student. Today, I had a sick realization: Who am I outside these walls (which really are quite lovely)? I noticed today that I introduce myself as "Maggie, a senior theatre major at BU." It's like "Jonah, guy who was eaten by whale. Also, messenger from YHWH." It's who you are. Then, I realized, in 10 months, it's all over. No more. Finito. Fin. End. This makes me nervous. Now, I realize that I have other things going on in my life, but what do I do if I'm not studying for a class? What do I do if I don't have a paper to write? Where else is my time spent if it's not at a table studying or in a classroom or a studio? This is also a very cool thing for college seniors - it demands (more nerve-racking than inviting) that you figure out, at least a little, who you are. So, now, with this afternoon and not actually being a student for the next 5 weeks, and no other something to tell me what my role currently is, I must face head-on the scariest opponent of them all: myself and side-kick, inter workings.