My Heart

Have you ever left a place and known that you have to get back to that place? That you left your heart there and nothing will stop you from getting back? That's DC to me... and I left my heart there this weekend. Talk about a weepy flight back... 

and a month later...

Today, I realized it's been a while. I haven't blogged in about a month. Not that I haven't had blog-worthy stuff going on, it's just hasn't been blog-appropriate... you know? Couple of the goings on:

the weather in Texas is fall-like. Every other day or so. This consistency of chill surprises most native Texans. And excites us. I broke out my tights today. :)

Speaking of tights. I had a substitute teacher when I was in 10th grade who was pretty old. He was a funny guy and we were talking about the prime of his youth: The Forties. He was telling us about the stockings they used to wear - the ones with the seams down the back. He thought those should come back in style. I also recently read Death of a Salesman. Hence stockings being on my mind. If you don't get it, go read the play. It'll be good for you.

I learned how to drape patterns yesterday. I also poked my finger with a needle. It hurt.

I'm exhausted. And ready to graduate.

I leave on Thursday night for Washington DC! I'm stoked!!! :)

Now, I must go work on a paper. Maybe I'll blog more soon... maybe...

weird

I'm a senior in college. In my head, this means my classes should be challenging, homework should be mountainous, papers should take over my life, research should be what I eat, breathe and sleep, I should be painting at all hours of the day and I shouldn't have time to write this. This may be what it should mean, but it is not what it is. How sad. Actually, I'm bored. Out of my mind. I'm not being challenged. Even in my classes that I thought I would be, I'm not. I read the newspaper online for one class and read about a play a week for another with a few other pages interspersed. It's really not enough to really keep me busy. Oh, sure I paint and design, but that's not work, I love that. 

in short: I'm bored. I need to focus and work really hard this semester, but there's no motivation. Really. 

Maybe I can get that window painted now...

Just prepare to laugh. Either at or with me.

Here's the rundown of my dating life thus far this year. Because, if you can't laugh at it, life is going to seem a lot longer than you'd like. 


One couldn't handle a social situation to save his life. He told me education wasn't all that important and told me I'm spoiled. Which... I may be, but you don't tell me that. Especially when you're trying to date me and I go to college. A good college. And I'm a senior. Which means I want to be here.


The crying guy. 

The guy who can't figure out the difference in feel, fill and full. He really wants to share his fillings with me... so either he wants to kiss me or tell me he liked me.... the constant guessing got old. 

The guy who had the nerve to tell me women are only good for one thing. This reminded me that Dad always said, "Boys only want one thing." He was serious, but, fortunately, not about all boys. 

The guy who likes to tell me how much he likes me and then asks if it's weird that he feels so much for me. 

The guy who accidentally tells me he loves me all the time. 

The firefighter. Letdown. 

The roughneck who talked a lot while making out. You can't do both. Either conversation or kissing. Not both. Oh and he left a hickey. And by a, I mean five, obviously. Gross. We were over the next day.


Edward Scissorhands. If you don't know that story, maybe I can share sometime. 

The Professor. From another university... I feel the need to qualify that. He was great.


Other. Also, good.



and a few that I won't mention... :)


 

Is it May yet?

I'm really ready to graduate. This week has confirmed this for me. I have:

-had a prof make me cry.
-found the dumbest people in my classes.
-realized that I will have to deal with these people a lot.
-spent $43 on paintbrushes and $70 on Prismacolors. And I'm not done.
-fallen in and out of love with Chekhov. And maybe back in. Damn, Chekhov.
-skipped two classes (one with VERY solid reasoning).
-been bored out of my effing mind.
-had a lame Friday night.
-had NO time to blog, depsite my boredom.
-sat through no less than 5 boring lectures.

Did I mention this is only week 1? Awesome.

Um, May 15th, excuse me, can you get a move on? Please? I don't want to seem impatient or anything, but I'm ready to GO. Thanks.

Hello, senior year. How do YOU do?

Well, I am official. I have filed my graduation card, I know my way around campus - which doesn't matter because all but one of my classes are in the same building-, I feel old, I don't know ANY of the names of the freshmen's names in the department, and, let's be honest, I may or may not EVER know them. I'm sitting at one of my favorite spots in the coffee house I spend too much time at, and I am currently researching Edward Gordon Craig and his work with the Moscow Art Theatre. I've been doing this forever... or at least it feels like that. I'm convinced I've been doing this for forever... and then it hits me: this is it. I have 9 months left of this thing. Then, I'm done. I'll be employed and not worried about the stacks of homework that are sitting in the chair next to me that I am currently politely ignoring. This time next year, I won't walk campus. I won't be going to welcome-back-these-are-the-new-policies meetings. There won't be Common Grounds waiting for me to get out of class and come take a seat and pour over research for hours. There won't be college, just life... and to be honest, as bright-eyed as the new kids are as they walk to their first ever class as a college student filled with fear and anticipation, I think I'm finally ready for it to be over. I've loved my time here and I'm so excited to be blessed by another two semesters here in this place that has been my home, but I'm ready to try new things and be surrounded by new people and new locations. So, today, on this last first day of school, Baylor, you've been good to me, let's have a good time this year. Be kind to the freshman - be gentle with their bright eyes. Be kind to the seniors who have mere months left to call you home before we become the next alum and we will love you back and fling our green and gold afar - to light the ways of time.

Follies

Today is one of those awkward days that comes out of nowhere. I realized when I finally got up and left my house this morning that today was in fact move in day. There is really no worse two days at a college than move in day. It means that parents that don't know their way around campus are being guided by new students who have no idea where to go and all that equals mess:

[clueless parents + clueless student who is wound up sort of like a chihuahua on crack because, low and behold they are FINALLY LIVING ALONE (well, that's what they think)] x 1500 = chaos on campus for all who have any idea of the ease with which you are supposed to be able to navigate through the beloved campus we call home.

Part of me always wants to tell them to figure it out. The other part of me wants to help them, guide them, put them where they're supposed to be and let them settle in, tell them it will be ok and, no, college isn't as scary as you think it's going to be and the homework load is totally doable... if you aren't opposed to sleeping and showering at abnormal hours. But that's a different story. So, today, against the wishes of either of these parts, I slept, which was nice. Except that the people who are re-siding my apartment complex are, wait for it, STILL HERE. ALL THE DANG TIME. This causes me stress. I wish they would leave.

I then realized that I only have 5 days (and really only 4 days) left of my last summer in college. Sigh. But, as I realized this, I was driving with an ice cold cherry diet coke, the Kings of Leon on the radio, blue skies up above, and the thought of those last few sweet moments of summer. I think I'll buy strawberries to cling a little longer, although, the summer heat will stick around a little longer than any of us would really like.

I feel like maybe this is a little complain-y, but really it's just been a weird day. The next few days, if I'm lucky, will maybe get less weird, but really, I think life will just get crazier starting today.

love peace life